New source of global warming gas found: plants
German scientists have discovered a new source of methane, a greenhouse gas that is second only to carbon dioxide in its impact on climate change.
The culprits are plants.
They produce about 10 to 30 percent of the annual methane found in the atmosphere, according to researchers at the Max-Planck Institute for Nuclear Physics in Heidelberg, Germany.
The scientists measured the amount of methane released by plants in controlled experiments. They found it increases with rising temperatures and exposure to sunlight.
"Significant methane emissions from both intact plants and detached leaves were observed ... in the laboratory and in the field," Dr Frank Keppler and his team said in a report in the journal Nature.
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Okay, you've got to admit this is funny. All these years the ecofascists (a.k.a. "environmentalists") have been predicting the dire consequences of alleged "man-made global warming." For nearly four decades, ecofascists have had a choke hold on American politics and the American economy. They are the primary reason why the United States is dependent on foreign oil. They've made it impossible to drill for oil off many American coastlines, and they've bogged down American oil refineries with so much regulation that most corporations find it cheaper to just import refined oil from other countries -- like the middle east. Of course, this raps up American interests in places like the middle east, which tends to get us involved in middle-eastern wars, and gives Arab governments a frightening influence over Washington DC. The ecofascist hysteria has even reached the level of international politics via the infamous Kyoto Protocol Treaty, which calls for the drastic reduction of man-made greenhouse gases and the stifling of global economies.
Nevermind the fact that a single volcano in the Philippines (Mt. Pinatubo, erupted June 15, 1991) spewed more greenhouse gases in one week than all man-made emissions during the entire 20th century. Yet one more example why rising global temperatures have little to nothing to do with mankind. But who cares about real science -- right?
We've got a planet to save, and worldwide socialism to enact, so we need a crisis. Enter the man-made global warming myth. Nations have succumbed to it, and world leaders bow down to it. It's the stuff of science fiction. Hell, it is science fiction! But who cares, it serves its purpose. Ecofascism (a.k.a. environmentalism) is just a guise for setting up a global socialist economy, with the UN serving as a world governmental agency acting on behalf of Mother Earth (the environment). Everybody knows the greens are really red, and nobody seems to care. If we can just make enough Hollywood movies forecasting the end of the world, we just might be able to scare enough American capitalists into going along with it. Who cares if any of it is true. The ends justify the means you see. The end is a worldwide socialist economy and the means is... well, any means necessary.
So in the spirit of helping the ecofascists "save the world" I would like to propose the following. A recent study has determined that living plants play a major role (up to 30%) in the emissions of global-warming greenhouse gases. In fact, the same scientific study proved that dead plants emit far less emissions than living plants. So in the name of all ecofascist insanity I propose we give those environmentalists exactly what they've been asking for. Save the world -- kill a plant! That's right! Kill a plant. Kill as many as you can to cut down on the emissions of deadly greenhouse gases that cause global warming. It's the only reasonable solution. Western economies won't be weaned off the oil market for decades. That could take too long. So it's up to everyone to do their part. If you love Mother Earth, it's your ecologic duty as a citizen of this planet to commit as much herbicide as possible. So go outside, find a nice big shrub, hold on real tight and give it a pull. Then be sure to chop it up and put it in the trash bin so it doesn't plant it's deadly global-warming roots someplace else. If it bothers you, close your eyes and do it anyway, because it might be the only thing that saves us. Then go tell your nearest ecofascist neighbor to stick that in his pipe and smoke it.